Recording our history
by Reikah
Summary: Holitsuba-verse; the Fluorite twins enjoy a vacation on a tropical island. Fai x Yuui fluff piece written for livejournal's Clampkink meme.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Recording our history  
><strong>Author:<strong> Reikah  
><strong>Rating:<strong> R  
><strong>Setting:<strong> Holitsuba **Notes:** Title from Ani DiFranco song 'Both Hands'. This was written for a prompt on the clampkink anonymous meme on livejournal. Prompt requested "Fai/Yuui - tropical beach. Would like to see moar Fai/Yuui, this time in a tropical beach settings. Splashing in the warm, gentle waves, lazing around in the sun sipping pina coladas... then at night creeping up close in their house and letting the cool ocean breezes come in the open windows."

Couldn't pass it up, the only thing better than Fai is Faix2!

* * *

><p>he never was one for swimming. yuui stands with his toes in the surf and wrinkles his nose, the white sand tempting behind him and the sun a physical force on his skin, and he wonders whether he should have said <em>no<em>, back when his twin first asked for this. fai splashes in the waves ahead, mouth open in a childish whoop of glee; yuui will never understand what his twin sees in the beach, sunburn and sand in uncomfortable places. _come on, yuui!_ fai calls, his voice high-pitched and somehow in keeping with the cries of the gulls; he is pink and white and out of place on the blue of the sea, drawing away from him, and yuui finally plucks up his courage and steps in.

it's warm like bathwater under the sunlight, the sand crumbling under his feet with every step he makes; fai launches himself wildly towards him, graceful and ridiculous in the swish-whirl-tumble of the rolling waves. he reaches yuui or maybe yuui reaches him, and his twin's hands are on his hips and fai is surging upward from the sea, pulling him down. yuui yelps as he trips forward face-first but fai is there and for a moment they are tangled under the water, floating face to face, legs locked around each other. fai's hair is haloed around his face and he is grinning, his eyes screwed up against the salt, and yuui grins back and breathes out, pushing off the sand and following the bubbles to the surface.

he kisses fai when his twin emerges, a long lazy kiss with the water around their necks and their hair soaking and slicked to their faces so they both resemble blond sheepdogs. fai tastes of saltwater and his palms are comfortably familiar on yuui's hips, holding him tight, holding him close.

in that moment yuui loves his twin with everything he has, from the shining innocent glee in his eyes to the burning weight of his hands, holding yuui close; from the way he kisses, sloppy and open-mouthed with no finesse, to the sensation of fai pressed against him under the water, skin-to-skin.

then of course he tips them both under the ocean surface, and they seesaw from kissing to play-fighting easy as always. fai would never have it be any different.

* * *

><p>that evening fai lies on his stomach on the wide hotel bed and makes puppy-dog eyes at yuui, his shoulders an angry red not so very different from his nose, which is peeling; yuui merely raises an eyebrow. <em>you should have bought water-proof sunblock,<em> he says, smug; his own skin is just a rosy pink. fai looks at him with big sad eyes and oh, yuui never could resist him; he reaches for the aloe vera lotion and slicks his palms, walking his hands across his beloved twins' skin so like and unlike his own.

_you know you burn by now,_ he says, tracing spirals across the dip of fai's spine, and his brother hums agreement sleepily, his head pillowed on his crossed arms. the burn matches the red of the towel around his waist perfectly. his swimming trunks lie discarded on the bathroom floor, fai never could remember to pick up his things.

_maybe i like yuui touching me,_ fai mumbles and yuui breathes in, feeling color rise in his cheeks because of course he can't be caught with his hands all over his twin back at the school, people are almost always watching, and -

_i want a kiss,_ fai says, turning his head to look at yuui over his reddened shoulder, and his smile is as devious as it is beautiful, and yuui can't ever keep from obliging. it's nothing like the kiss in the ocean; it's slow and deliberate, and when yuui tugs the towel away fai laughs happily into his mouth.

this too is something fai gives him.

* * *

><p>that night they sit out on the veranda sharing drinks between them; yuui knows how to mix a cocktail, to choose flavors that go with the meals he makes. their dinner this evening was made by someone else and now the cocktails he blends he chooses to go with salt and kisses, and fai hums happily after he drains each one.<p>

yuui normally cuts fai off when he reaches a certain point but today he says nothing as fai goes from giggly to horny, and when fai goes to his knees before yuui's deckchair he just slides his fingers through the fine blond of his twin's hair. the cocktails make the night seem somehow more closed in, more intimate, and he has been half-hard since fai had his third drink and started making those hand gestures; he is long past tipsy himself and fai's mouth is hot and wonderful as he bends and sucks yuui down, all the way down.

it doesn't take him long, he never was one for stamina, and when he comes he does so with a soft, shuddering sigh. his limbs are boneless and his belly is warm, alcohol and affection and sex mixed, and he slides awkwardly off the chair to spill across fai's lap, drapes his arms over fai's shoulder and kisses him, tasting saltwater and his own come which as always is indistinguishable from fai's.

_i love you,_ he says, a thousand miles from home and so far away from anybody else who might know them, and he means _i am in love with you_. fai wraps his fingers around yuui's bicep and squeezes, leans forward and bumps their foreheads together, and his lips move as he whispers the words back, their meaning echoed in his mirror self. yuui tucks a strand of his twin's hair behind his ear and fai smiles, the beautiful honest smile that is for yuui and yuui alone, and they stay there for another hour, pressed close to each other under a different sky, taking the time to look.

* * *

><p>no vacation can last forever, and on their last evening they take their time in the big foreign bed, fai spreading yuui out and worshiping him with tongue and teeth, leaving bitemarks only in places they will never be seen back at the school. yuui pants and cries and falls apart, victim to fai's masterful hands, and fai mercilessly holds him there, at that edge, for what feels like hours before allowing him to find release.<p>

afterward they lie curled next to each other, yuui holding fai's hands in his, saying nothing. tomorrow they fly back to concrete and gray cityscapes, drizzling rain and prying eyes; fai will be the goofy idiot with a chemistry lab at his control, yuui his responsible brother, and people will purse their lips and frown if they so much as hold hands in public. they will be examples, they will be role models, and perhaps they will steal kisses in secret places, hold each other a little too tightly when they hug.

for now they have this: the boom of the sea on the shore beyond the window, the scent of their love lingering now in the air, the quicksilver beating of fai's pulse against yuui's fingers. the aftertaste of a kiss, the shape of a handprint, a string of bitemarks along the line of a collarbone, the memory of lying here; these things will sustain them through the school term until the next vacation.

it is more than yuui ever thought he could have. it will be enough.

_-fin_

_._

_.  
><em>

_in each other's shadows we grew less and less tall  
>and eventually our theories couldn't explain it all<br>and i'm recording our history now on the bedroom wall  
>and when we leave the landlord will come<br>and paint over it all_


	2. timestamp

_a/n: from the timestamp meme on lj, wherein users could request a story and a specific date before or after the story they'd like to see in a fic. this is for bottan, who requested this story, "about ten years or more back"._

* * *

><p>"Yuui," Fai said from outside their bedroom door.<p>

"Go away," Yuui said, his voice clogged with tears despite his best efforts.

"Yuui, please," Fai said, unhappily, and rapped lightly on the door with his knuckles; Yuui sniffed, pawing his tears out of his eyes, and then slid out from between his blankets and flipped the lock to open. Fai eeled his way in immediately. "There," he said, closing the door behind him, and his whole expression changed when he saw Yuui's. "What's wrong?" he asked, anxious.

"You," Yuui said, choked. "I saw you kissing _him_ outside school."

"Yuui," Fai said, his eyes softening.

"You promised you wouldn't," Yuui said, hating his voice, wheedling and weak. "You _said_ you wouldn't kiss anyone. Until we were both ready. Until we were at college and out of here. I-"

"I'm sorry," Fai said gently, and came forward two steps, taking Yuui's shoulders and turning him so they were face to face. Yuui's eyes tracked over the features they shared, the features he saw both here and in mirrors, and wondered when Fai had become this stranger. "I'm sorry," Fai said again, and he was telling the truth, Yuui could always tell when he wasn't.

"Why did you do it?" Yuui asked softly, unable to hold onto his anger with Fai looking at him like that. He was still hurt, but he never could be mad at Fai for long.

"I... I wanted practice," Fai said helplessly, his fingers tightening on Yuui's shoulder, and some of Yuui's confusion must have shown, because Fai shook his head. "I wanted to know what to do. So I wouldn't suck at it."

"I don't understand," Yuui said, and Fai kissed him, slow and sweet. It would probably have been more sweet if Yuui hadn't been too shocked to kiss back. Fai's lips were cracked and dry, but his mouth was warm; after Yuui failed to respond he drew back, and there was bittersweet disappointment on his face. Yuui touched his fingers to his lips, stunned.

"I'm going to Japan," he said. "For college, I mean."

"No," Yuui replied immediately. "You promised to come to Italy. You _said_. We were going to Florence."

"Tokyo had a better chemistry program," Fai said, and kissed Yuui gently on the forehead. "It's alright, Yuui. You don't need me."

_Yes I do,_ Yuui thought, but his lips still burned where Fai's touched his. "When are you going?" he asked, numb. "What are you going to do about - ? Fai, your Japanese is average, how are you going to -?"

"I'll live," Fai said, and touched his thumb to Yuui's lips. His smile was sad. "I leave this Saturday. Will you see me off?"

"How long have you been plotting this?" Yuui whispered, and Fai turned away, and Yuui wondered. Wondered how long Fai had wanted to kiss him. Wondered how he had taken Yuui's rejection. Impatiently he grabbed Fai's arm and hauled him around, seizing his twin's face and yanking him forward; their mouths collided brutally, Fai's tooth splitting his lip, and Fai pulled away with a muttered exclamation. Yuui dabbed at the stinging wound and was unsurprised to see blood on the pad of his thumb.

"Yuui, no," Fai said, sounding shaken.

"Don't go to Japan," Yuui said, his voice cracked and hoarse even to his own ears. "I kissed you back. It's all okay now."

Fai said nothing, just looked at him, and his eyes were filled with sympathy. "We were fourteen when I first wanted to kiss you," he said conversationally, as though remarking on the weather. "It was the summer you stopped playing piano and started cooking, remember?"

Yuui remembered. He had cooked every day, filling the house with the scent of Italian cuisine while the piano gathered dust in the corner. Fai had followed him around like a shadow, silently accepting culinary chores Yuui delegated to him without complaint. When Yuui asked Fai just smiled and said, _I like it when Yuui is happy_.

"I won't stay just because you kissed me, kissing doesn't mean anything without feelings. Go to Italy, Yuui. You've been working for it for years."

"Without you?"

"Yes. If you still want to kiss me when you graduate..." Fai shrugged, and Yuui swallowed, his chest aching as though he'd been stabbed.

"I don't want to," he said, and his voice broke painfully on the last word. "I don't want to be without you, Fai."

"Me too, Yuui," Fai replied and took his hand, and Yuui saw his own pain mirrored in his twin's face. Fai tugged him into a brotherly embrace, warm and familiar, and Yuui tucked his face into the curve of Fai's neck, inhaling his twin's scent, _their_ scent as though stockpiling for a long winter. Fai stroked his hair, filtering the strands through his fingers, and Yuui stared searchingly into his twin's face, their face, looking for something he didn't wholly understand.

"I love you," he said. "That's always been my problem. You don't know how you feel."

"Then I'll find out. I'll come back to you," Yuui promised. "I will. I'll teach myself Japanese in Italy."

Fai's smile was warm and clearly humoring him, and it broke Yuui's heart. He would find the answer to Fai's question in Florence, and maybe next time...

Maybe it would be he who kissed _Fai_.


End file.
